Marriage is like a trip to Mars

What does a manned trip to Mars and marriage have in common? Preparations for a Mars mission and a wedding will almost assuredly have a foul-up or two. Whether launching a lifetime commitment to marriage or a journey into space, preparations will finally culminate in a blastoff with jubilant well-wishers cheering for a successful journey. They both will explore the vastness and dangers of the unknown and require the newness of living together while sharing the good along with the bad. Finally, there’s always the potential to discover new life during their journey.

This Valentine’s Day let’s give our applause to three couples who successfully landed their “Rovers” right here in the Valley.

Dana Parnello and Ankie Stroes

Dana was born and raised in the San Francisco Bay area. Ankie was born in West Virginia to Dutch immigrants. She moved internationally nine times from the ages of 2 to 15, quickly learning how to adapt to new languages and cultures. The couple met in 1984 at the University of California, Davis, where they both rowed crew for Davis. They dated until their marriage in August of ’92, during which time they moved to Colorado and supported each other through graduate school. Their wedding took place with their families in California, followed by a second reception in Colorado with all their friends.

After dating for about a year, Dana and Ankie rode loaded touring bicycles around England, France, Switzerland, Germany, and Holland. It never took Dana longer than 6 minutes to find a bakery in every new country. “It was at the end of that trip that we knew things were going to work out pretty well [for us]. Even today some of our greatest adventures have been by bike,” said Ankie.

Dana said what impressed him most about Ankie is, “Her fierce independence, and I would admit that whole euro thing worked pretty well for me, too.” Ankie said, “Dana has always been an optimist. He can also find humor in everything. That is a big attraction.”

The factors that make their marriage a success are: “Open, intelligent, and sometimes frank conversations; constructive conversation – not nit picking; flexibility; and caring about the other.” “Be a couple,” they said, “but ensure that individuality is maintained. Having individual lives as well as having lives together has allowed us to continue to bring newness to the relationship. Support each other’s personal endeavors without jealousy. This continues to be important in parenthood as well.” Dana and Ankie have two daughters: Annalise, who attends Tahoma Junior High, and Emma, who goes to Rock Creek Elementary.

Dana works for REI, where he helps people figure out new and different ways to break perfectly good outdoor products (he oversees product testing and engineering). He has degrees in Environmental Policy Analysis (BS) and Recreation Administration (MA). Dana served on the Maple Valley Planning Commission from 2006-2010, as well as the Library Advisory Board. He was on the Maple Valley City Council 2010-2011.

Ankie is bilingual in Dutch, and primarily speaks Dutch with their girls. She is the co-leader of a Senior Girl Scout Troop and serves on the Maple Valley Girl Scout steering committee. Ankie is a Master Gardener and helped establish Master Gardener Clinics at Johnsons Do It Center and the Maple Valley Farmers’ Market. She is a member of the Maple Valley Make a Difference Day committee and offers her services as a garden coach through her Dutch Girl Gardening business.

Dana and Ankie believe that birthdays are as important as Christmas. They decorate with streamers and balloons for every birthday and always have a special birthday breakfast and dinner. Dana has never gone to work on Ankie’s, Annalise’s or Emma’s birthdays and has personally made (from scratch) every one of the girls’ birthday cakes. Both Dana and Ankie enjoy cross country skiing, backpacking, road and mountain biking, and GOOD COFFEE!

Taite Whitchurch and Tiffany Dauer-Whitchurch

Taite and Tiffany grew up in Almaden Valley, a small community in San Jose, California. They moved to Issaquah in 1998 and then to Maple Valley in 2001. Although they are from the same neighborhood and went to the same elementary school and junior high, they didn’t meet and start dating until after college in Los Gatos, California. Tiffany was working in marketing at National Semiconductor, where Taite had previously worked before taking a skiing hiatus. A mutual friend suggested that Taite contact Tiffany to help him get rehired at National Semi. Taite did not end up going back to work for National, but he asked Tiffany to dinner to thank her for her help. Almost three years later, in 1998, they were married on Valentine’s Day at South Lake Tahoe.

Taite was impressed by Tiffany’s adventurous spirit and love for the underdog. She has an outgoing and friendly nature, an intelligent quick wit and sense of humor, and an overall inner and outward beauty. Taite said, “All these things still make her amazing today.”

Tiffany said,” I love that Taite sees people for who they are on the inside – he is not judgmental. I noticed right away that people were drawn to his low-key, easy-going personality and kind and giving spirit. Plus,” she said, “he was the only guy I ever dated who wanted lots of children!” Tiffany and Taite have six children: Hunter, 13; Parker, 12; Chandler, 11; Spencer and Sayler (identical twins), 10; and Piper, age 1. The children are home-schooled.

They agree that what makes their marriage a success is a commitment to God, each other, and to stick with it through the good times and bad. “Divorce is never an option. If you both have that mindset, then working through differences becomes a part of life. Pick a partner with a common faith and common values.”

Taite is an engineer and Tiffany is an entrepreneur with a high tech background. Taite waited tables to pay for and get his BSEE degree from the University of California at Santa Barbara. After finishing college, Tiffany lived two years in Argentina and Paraguay working for a newspaper and teaching school. After Tiffany retired from her busy Silicon Valley career, she founded Simply Tiffany Taite, Inc. in 2001, manufacturing silver gifts and jewelry. Her products have been featured in many magazines, TV programs, and have even been spotted on the “red carpet.”

Taite and Tiffany are active in Maple Valley’s youth soccer, football, baseball, and basketball programs, as well as Boy Scouts and other activities around town. Their goal is to raise children who respect others as well as themselves. They enjoy volunteering their services. They believe serving others is the secret to a happy and fulfilled life.

Joan and Alex Skistimas

Joan was born in Edmonton, Alberta in 1944, then moved to Vancouver, B.C. at age 16. In 1965 she moved to Seattle to fly for United Airlines. Alex was born in Lithuania in 1932 and immigrated to Pittsburgh with his mother and five siblings in 1952. They moved to California shortly after, and in 1965 he moved to Seattle to work for Boeing. Joan and Alex met at the Ponderosa Apartments directly across the street from Sea-Tac Airport. Almost everyone living there were flight attendants or Boeing engineers, and at least five marriages originated from this apartment building. After dating nine months, Alex and Joan eloped to Las Vegas on May 4, 1967.

It was Alex’s generosity, sense of humor, and work ethic that attracted him to Joan. It was her friendly personality, sincerity, and attractiveness that impressed Alex about her. From the beginning they had common goals for their life together and family. When minor challenges did creep up, they “agreed to disagree. Showing respect for one another is of utmost importance,” they say. Their advice to young couples for staying together is: “During challenging times, you should stick with it, and do everything you can to work out your issues.”

Alex spent the majority of his career as a mechanical engineer in the missile and aircraft industries, including at McDonald Douglas in Long Beach, California, and the Boeing Company in Seattle. He participated in the design and development of the 737, 747, and Supersonic Transport control systems. He left Boeing in the 70s and pursued a second career in real estate as a broker and later as a Real Estate appraiser.

Joan was a secretary for two years before joining the airlines in 1964. After getting married in 1967, Joan was asked to leave the airline, as there was a no-marriage policy for flight attendants at that time. Alex and Joan then had three children and after a hiatus of 16 years, Joan returned to flying in 1983 when a class-action suit finally changed the rules. (In spite of my favorite memories of the past, maybe the ‘60s weren’t all that great, after all. Imagine what would happen today if someone were fired for getting married?) Joan is still flying today and not really sure when she will hang up her wings.

Although most of the issues Joan has dealt with in flight concern passengers with medical problems, she recently had two Muslim passengers on the same flight in separate sections of the airplane kneeling down on their prayer blankets. Joan’s most memorable experiences in her 48 years of flying were the opportunities to fly MAC flights (Military Air Command) trips aboard jumbo 747s for the U.S. Air Force. Their flights would depart O’Hare Field for Frankfort, Germany. After a two-day layover, they were bussed to Rhein-Main Air Base where they picked up their passengers. “I felt very privileged to help our troops from Iraq return home to their families and loved ones,” said Joan. They flew them to Fort Campbell, Kentucky, where the planes were checked for any security breech. From there the flight crew ferried the aircraft (no passengers) back to O’Hare. Joan was thrilled when on one of the flights to O’Hare, she was fortunate enough to be able to ride in the jump seat in the cockpit. “Flying doesn’t get any better than this!” exclaimed Joan.

Joan and Alex’s three children are all graduates from Tahoma High School. Their oldest son, Roger, lives in Tacoma. He is the Pacific Northwest Regional Manager for a global logistics provider. Laura and her husband Marv Tommervik live in Maple Valley with their 8-year-old twins. Laura is a Senior Brand Manager at the game company Wizards of the Coast, a division of Hasbro. Their youngest son, Greg, lives in Poulsbo with his wife Gabi and their three children. Greg works as a Quality Assurance Manager in Food and Distribution Global Quality at Starbucks Coffee Company.

Alex loves fishing, crabbing, shrimping, and clamming. Since his retirement in 2007, he also enjoys refurbishing fishing boats. Joan is passionate about cooking, traveling with friends (most recently to Ireland), and spending time with her five grandchildren.

Those who fly our skies and the boundless expanses of space know that it’s how you fly the mission that makes for a successful landing. That applies to marriage, as well. There is nothing more precious in this life than a life-partner. In my opinion these three couples could teach the course on navigating the challenges of marriage. Happy Valentine’s Day to all!